Christmas Doesn't Have to Be the Most Wonderful Time of the Year
It really bugs me when people put on a happy face and try to "just get through the holidays". There has to be a better way!
Sometimes, I just need to rant, and I woke up this Christmas Eve thinking about all of you who will struggle this holiday week because I struggle too.
I know, it's that one time of year when all is merry and bright and love and rainbows, well green, red, silver, and gold rainbows, and EVERYONE GETS ALONG…or more accurately is SUPPOSED to get along!
Photo by Chad Madden on Unsplash
It isn’t working and yet we keep trying to keep the peace at all costs because we don’t want to upset mom-in-law, grandma, brother, uncle, fill-in-your-blank.
It drives me absolutely crazy that we all have a tendency to put on a happy face and just "get through the holidays". You hear people say it all the time...
"I just need to get through Christmas"
"I will deal with it after the holidays"
"I will put on my happy face through the end of the year"
I can only handle so much of that happiness, shove-it-under-the-rug crap!
𝙉𝙤𝙬, 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙢𝙚 𝙬𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙜, 𝙄 𝙖𝙢 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙞𝙜𝙝 𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙨𝙚. 𝙄 𝘼𝙇𝙎𝙊 𝙃𝘼𝙑𝙀 𝙎𝘼𝙄𝘿 𝘼𝙇𝙇 𝙊𝙁 𝙏𝙃𝙊𝙎𝙀 𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙉𝙂𝙎 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙈𝙐𝘾𝙃 𝙈𝙊𝙍𝙀!!! 𝙒𝙚 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙫𝙪𝙡𝙣𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙞𝙙𝙖𝙮 𝙨𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙬𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙪𝙣𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙖𝙫𝙖𝙞𝙡𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙪𝙨. 𝘼𝙣𝙙, 𝙞𝙩 𝙞𝙨, 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙮𝙗𝙚 𝙉𝙊𝙏 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙗𝙞𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙜𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙣𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝.
I am not suggesting you arrive at your Christmas gathering with a scowl on your face ready to spout truth everywhere you linger.
I am suggesting there is a more authentic way to engage with the holidays and your family.
Plan ahead, and yes, even though it is Christmas Eve morning, you can still plan ahead. Let's assume you already said yes to the merriment and the gatherings. Now, plan ahead for what will stress you out.
If your mom's demands stress you out, plan ahead with two choices you are willing to deliver on and have her choose only between those two choices.
If conversation with Uncle Joe makes your blood boil, plan ahead to only talk with Uncle Joe when others are part of the conversation or have an exit strategy to remove yourself after 5 minutes.
Plan your recovery time. Yes, recovery time. You need time to recover your energy, stabilize your mood, process what you were feeling. Look at your schedule between gatherings and write down where and how you will take time to recover.
Taking a walk is recovery
Spending time with the people who fill your soul is recovery
Taking a nap is recovery
Spending an entire day without an agenda is recovery
Change how you show up in 2023. I really mean that! Why do you keep going back to the holidays with dread and anxiety? Because it’s what is familiar and you know how to manage it, even if it is destroying a piece of you every time. It’s time for a BIG SHIFT in YOU because you can only choose for yourself how you will heal, how you will set boundaries, how you will move with ease around the crazy
I believe in this so passionately, that I created my entire signature coaching membership around this concept. You get to be you and they get to be them and boundaries act as your guide and buffer. And, it really works! Women as astounded when they begin to put my simple and practical tools into action at how effective they are at creating space for everyone to be themselves, even the most toxic of people.
You can find all the details HERE on how to launch 2023 with the skills you need to have more of your time and energy for you, who you love, and what you love so that once you hit the holidays in 2023, you will be a pro.
Here's the deal...
I am over the fake crap. I am over pretending all is fine for the sake of someone's ego.
No, I am not going to blaze in with my truth and put everyone in their place even if that's what might feel good.
𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲.
𝙵𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚘𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 𝚘𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚝. 𝙳𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚒𝚝 𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞? 𝙰𝚖 𝙸 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚌? 𝙻𝚎𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜 or by hitting reply if this came through your email inbox.
And, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, or whatever you do or don't celebrate. We all have a family so we are all in this together.