Christmas Doesn't Have to Be the Most Wonderful Time of the Year
It really bugs me when people put on a happy face and try to "just get through the holidays". There has to be a better way!
Sometimes, I just need to rant, and I woke up this Christmas Eve thinking about all of you who will struggle this holiday week because I struggle too.
I know, it's that one time of year when all is merry and bright and love and rainbows, well green, red, silver, and gold rainbows, and EVERYONE GETS ALONGโฆor more accurately is SUPPOSED to get along!
Photo by Chad Madden on Unsplash
It isnโt working and yet we keep trying to keep the peace at all costs because we donโt want to upset mom-in-law, grandma, brother, uncle, fill-in-your-blank.
It drives me absolutely crazy that we all have a tendency to put on a happy face and just "get through the holidays". You hear people say it all the time...
"I just need to get through Christmas"
"I will deal with it after the holidays"
"I will put on my happy face through the end of the year"
I can only handle so much of that happiness, shove-it-under-the-rug crap!
๐๐ค๐ฌ, ๐๐ค๐ฃ'๐ฉ ๐๐๐ฉ ๐ข๐ ๐ฌ๐ง๐ค๐ฃ๐, ๐ ๐๐ข ๐ฃ๐ค๐ฉ ๐จ๐ฅ๐๐๐ ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ง๐ค๐ข ๐ข๐ฎ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ค๐ง๐จ๐. ๐ ๐ผ๐๐๐ ๐๐ผ๐๐ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐ผ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐๐๐พ๐ ๐๐๐๐!!! ๐๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ก๐ก ๐ซ๐ช๐ก๐ฃ๐๐ง๐๐๐ก๐ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐ ๐๐๐ฅ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ฅ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ฉ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐๐ค๐ก๐๐๐๐ฎ ๐จ๐๐๐จ๐ค๐ฃ ๐๐๐๐๐ช๐จ๐ ๐ฌ๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฃ๐ฉ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐๐๐ก๐๐๐ซ๐ ๐ฉ๐ง๐ช๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ค๐ฃ๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ช๐ฃ๐๐ค๐ฃ๐๐๐ฉ๐๐ค๐ฃ๐๐ก ๐ก๐ค๐ซ๐ ๐๐จ ๐๐ซ๐๐๐ก๐๐๐ก๐ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐ช๐จ. ๐ผ๐ฃ๐, ๐๐ฉ ๐๐จ, ๐๐ช๐จ๐ฉ ๐ข๐๐ฎ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ง๐ค๐ข ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ฅ๐๐ค๐ฅ๐ก๐ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐๐ค๐ก๐ค๐๐๐๐๐ก๐ก๐ฎ ๐๐ค๐ฃ๐ฃ๐๐๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฉ๐.
I am not suggesting you arrive at your Christmas gathering with a scowl on your face ready to spout truth everywhere you linger.
I am suggesting there is a more authentic way to engage with the holidays and your family.
Plan ahead, and yes, even though it is Christmas Eve morning, you can still plan ahead. Let's assume you already said yes to the merriment and the gatherings. Now, plan ahead for what will stress you out.
If your mom's demands stress you out, plan ahead with two choices you are willing to deliver on and have her choose only between those two choices.
If conversation with Uncle Joe makes your blood boil, plan ahead to only talk with Uncle Joe when others are part of the conversation or have an exit strategy to remove yourself after 5 minutes.
Plan your recovery time. Yes, recovery time. You need time to recover your energy, stabilize your mood, process what you were feeling. Look at your schedule between gatherings and write down where and how you will take time to recover.
Taking a walk is recovery
Spending time with the people who fill your soul is recovery
Taking a nap is recovery
Spending an entire day without an agenda is recovery
Change how you show up in 2023. I really mean that! Why do you keep going back to the holidays with dread and anxiety? Because itโs what is familiar and you know how to manage it, even if it is destroying a piece of you every time. Itโs time for a BIG SHIFT in YOU because you can only choose for yourself how you will heal, how you will set boundaries, how you will move with ease around the crazy
I believe in this so passionately, that I created my entire signature coaching membership around this concept. You get to be you and they get to be them and boundaries act as your guide and buffer. And, it really works! Women as astounded when they begin to put my simple and practical tools into action at how effective they are at creating space for everyone to be themselves, even the most toxic of people.
You can find all the details HERE on how to launch 2023 with the skills you need to have more of your time and energy for you, who you love, and what you love so that once you hit the holidays in 2023, you will be a pro.
Here's the deal...
I am over the fake crap. I am over pretending all is fine for the sake of someone's ego.
No, I am not going to blaze in with my truth and put everyone in their place even if that's what might feel good.
๐ ๐๐ฆ ๐ ๐จ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐ญ๐๐ ๐ข๐๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ฉ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฆ๐ฒ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐ ๐๐ข๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ฌ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ ๐๐๐ง ๐๐ ๐๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐ ๐ฐ๐ก๐จ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐๐ซ๐๐ข๐ง๐ฌ ๐ฆ๐ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐จ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ข๐๐๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ, ๐ง๐๐๐๐ฌ, ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ง๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ.
๐ต๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ข, ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ข๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐. ๐ณ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ข๐๐? ๐ฐ๐ ๐ธ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐? ๐ป๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ or by hitting reply if this came through your email inbox.
And, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, or whatever you do or don't celebrate. We all have a family so we are all in this together.